Partners Forever
Author: Pastor Thomas G. Wilson
April 06, 2020
Revelation 2:4-5 TPT [4] But I have this against you: you have abandoned the passionate love you had for me at the beginning. [5] Think about how far you have fallen! Repent and do the works of love you did at first. I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place of influence if you do not repent.
Many good marriages go through periods of tension, disagreement, difficulty and pain. During these times it is important to remember that just because your marriage is ailing doesn’t mean it’s failing! With the right prescription, your marriage can be healed of all the bruises, small cuts and deep wounds. It is not easy! It will take work…hard work, patience, and perseverance. So how do you go about regaining love?
1. Take a step backwards before you go forward. Jesus said in verse 5, “Think about how far you have fallen!” In other words remember the good times and evaluate how far “YOU” have fallen. Relationships are not 50/50 as is commonly believed, they are 100/100. Two people investingall into the relationship.
2. Repent. Ask yourself, “What have I done differently? Have I treated my spouse with dignity and respect.” Once you identify your contributions to the current state, repent, apologize, be willing to do what is necessary to take a giant step toward reconciliation.
3. Seek forgiveness and really forgive. If you have wronged your spouse ask them to please forgive you. If, on the other hand, they have wronged you then forgive them. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of your right to justice or worse vengeance. It is a decision to release your spouse from condemnation and guilt which can sometimes be used as supposed retribution and that’s not godly.
4. Get back to the fundamentals. “Do the works of love you did at first.” Stop taking one another for granted. Make greetings full of genuine passion and warmth. Express sincere gratitude for simple favors. Plan thoughtful and unique celebrations for birthdays and anniversaries and really celebrate! These special days are times when you want to make sure you communicate how much your spouse means to you. Remember celebrations need not be expensive as it takes less thought and creativity to spend money.
5. Choose to love. Love is not just a feeling or an emotion. Love is a decision, a commitment, a promise to love, be patient, kind, longsuffering, etc. to each other. Love means to give selflessly and sacrificially to your spouse. Above all, remember love is unconditional…that means you love your spouse no matter what.
6. Put the relationship ahead of everything…including children. It is unfortunate but the daily grind of caring for and nurturing your children can (if you are not careful) eat away at your priorities. It is impossible to maintain harmony in your relationship when one spouse feels like they are playing second fiddle to anyone or anything else. The happiest children are those who live in an environment where they feel like their parents love each other. Always put your spouses interests first.
7. Get counsel. It is time well spent to sit in front of an unbiased Holy Spirit led counselor or pastor. These professionals are graced with a supernatural ability to take seemingly big problems and shrink them down to size.
For further reading: 1Cor.13:1-8; 1Pet.3:1-11
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